"If the God you believe in as an idea doesn’t start showing up in what happens to you in your own life, you have as much cause for concern as if the God you don’t believe in as an idea does start showing up. It is absolutely crucial, therefore, to keep in constant touch with what is going on in your own life’s story and to pay close attention to what is going on in the stories of others’ lives. If God is present anywhere, it is in those stories that God is present. If God is not present in those stories, then they are scarcely worth telling." ~ Frederick Buechner

30 June 2011

Sleepless Nights

Thankfully, they are rare for us. Brennan hasn't been a BAD sleeper, although he isn't an exceptionally good one either. Generally, he goes down around eight o'clock, sleeps a 4-6 hour chunk, nurses, and sleeps 2-hour chunks after that. I know eventually we're going to have to work on soothing him back to sleep without nursing between the 2-hour chunks, but as he's currently exclusively breastfed, I figure it's okay for now.

Last night was horrible, though. He only slept 3 hours, woke up around 11 cranky, and just would

I am not a night owl by any means. I am a happy morning person, and I get grumpy at night time. Not to mention I had poor judgment last night and stayed up past MY regular bed time (10:00) catching up on a friend's blog. Wouldn't you know it? The night I decide to stay up, Brennan doesn't sleep.

I nursed, I bounced, I rocked, I hummed, I shushed. He would fall asleep in my arms, but as soon as I lay him in his crib, he'd be wide awake again. It was horrible. I eventually got so grumpy about it all myself that I woke Nich up to take a turn. Eventually, we just ended up bringing Brennan to bed with us so Nich could get some rest. He woke up every hour, fussing, until I got out of bed at six. I went cold turkey on coffee when I got pregnant, but this was a desperate morning.


Reflecting on it, though, it's still all worth it. Brennan's such a good, happy baby for the most part, and he is my second favorite person in the world. I love him more than I ever imagined I could love a little person who does not yet know how to reciprocate. I said to a friend yesterday that I have never KNOWN with all my heart that I would choose to die for someone else until I had Brennan. It makes the love of Abba that much more real for me.

I love motherhood.

Even with the occasional sleepless nights.

29 June 2011

Catching Up

I just wrote in Brennan's journal yesterday that I feel like someone has pushed the "fast forward" button on life. I can't believe he's over four months old already. No wonder it has been over a month since I've blogged!

We've moved and settled in at our new apartment. Here is a brief list of things that have been going on since we re-located:

- We celebrated Brennan's 100-Day (Baek-Il in Korea) by taking portraits at Sears and having a small party with some good friends. In Korea, it would have been a bigger deal, but what with having just moved and no convenient access to the necessary ingredients to make it traditional, we just had a friend custom-make cupcakes for us.

- Brennan's much more interactive now. He chats constantly, smiles a whole lot, plays with the hanging toys on his play mat, jumps in his Jumperoo, chews on his toes, "helps" sit himself up when I say "up" and give him my thumbs to hang on to, anticipates pushing his arms through his clothes ... It is so fun to see him growing and changing, but it's also a bit bittersweet to realize how fast it's going.

- We went swimming for the first time in the pool here at the apartments a couple evenings ago after Nich got home from work. Because I'm a bit neurotic about skin safety, I bought Brennan a rash guard, swimming trunks, and a floatie with a sunshade. It's actually pretty cute and has all the little characters from "Finding Nemo" on it. The initial shock from the cold water startled him, but after a brief second of fussing, he settled in and kicked his legs like a champ. We thought we'd be out there for maybe five minutes, but I think we ended up staying about half an hour! And then he slept super well that night! :~)

- Brennan had his first bit of rice cereal mixed with breastmilk. I tried to give it to him with a spoon, but that was a bit of a failed experiment. Tonight, I just mixed it in a bottle and he downed it.

- Nich and I are both slowly getting back into exercising. It's hard for me to gauge how much to do, since I read that exercising can affect milk production. Someday, I'll be back in shape, ha ha.

- We hosted our first out-of-town guests! Matt, Rachel, Josiah and Baby Burden-to-be came to stay overnight last Sunday. We enjoyed having them here, showing them downtown Saratoga, and introducing them to Plum Dandy. You can't have a visit with our family without it involving ice cream (or a variation of it!).

Well, it's quickly nearing bed time for me. I tried to stay up last night to watch a show I wanted to see (because we have free cable here), but I conked out on Nich's lap a good hour and a half before it even started. Nich said it was so sad to see me stumbling to our bedroom, because I was so tired I didn't even remember I wanted to watch the show. Brennan sleeps pretty well at night now (his day time naps are still a bit unpredictable - he takes 3 naps a day, but the duration changes), but I crave an uninterrupted 8 hours! :~)