"If the God you believe in as an idea doesn’t start showing up in what happens to you in your own life, you have as much cause for concern as if the God you don’t believe in as an idea does start showing up. It is absolutely crucial, therefore, to keep in constant touch with what is going on in your own life’s story and to pay close attention to what is going on in the stories of others’ lives. If God is present anywhere, it is in those stories that God is present. If God is not present in those stories, then they are scarcely worth telling." ~ Frederick Buechner

30 June 2011

Sleepless Nights

Thankfully, they are rare for us. Brennan hasn't been a BAD sleeper, although he isn't an exceptionally good one either. Generally, he goes down around eight o'clock, sleeps a 4-6 hour chunk, nurses, and sleeps 2-hour chunks after that. I know eventually we're going to have to work on soothing him back to sleep without nursing between the 2-hour chunks, but as he's currently exclusively breastfed, I figure it's okay for now.

Last night was horrible, though. He only slept 3 hours, woke up around 11 cranky, and just would
not
go
back
to
sleep.

I am not a night owl by any means. I am a happy morning person, and I get grumpy at night time. Not to mention I had poor judgment last night and stayed up past MY regular bed time (10:00) catching up on a friend's blog. Wouldn't you know it? The night I decide to stay up, Brennan doesn't sleep.

I nursed, I bounced, I rocked, I hummed, I shushed. He would fall asleep in my arms, but as soon as I lay him in his crib, he'd be wide awake again. It was horrible. I eventually got so grumpy about it all myself that I woke Nich up to take a turn. Eventually, we just ended up bringing Brennan to bed with us so Nich could get some rest. He woke up every hour, fussing, until I got out of bed at six. I went cold turkey on coffee when I got pregnant, but this was a desperate morning.

Sigh.

Reflecting on it, though, it's still all worth it. Brennan's such a good, happy baby for the most part, and he is my second favorite person in the world. I love him more than I ever imagined I could love a little person who does not yet know how to reciprocate. I said to a friend yesterday that I have never KNOWN with all my heart that I would choose to die for someone else until I had Brennan. It makes the love of Abba that much more real for me.

I love motherhood.

Even with the occasional sleepless nights.

1 comment:

  1. I do hope it wasn't my blog :-)
    I have a theory that has yet to be proven false...the later I go to bed, the worse the kids sleep. I can't remember the last time I went to bed (at any hour) and didn't wake up till morning's light---there's always one or two that are dying of thirst, have an earache or cough, tangled sheets, growing pains, bad dreams, an itchy bug bite, etc. etc. I tell myself I'll catch up on my sleep in old age, when it's considered perfectly appropriate to nod off mid-sentence.

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