I was warned thoroughly while pregnant that time would fly.
They were all right.
I absolutely cannot believe it has been two months since Brennan made Nich and me happy parents. My world has changed in so many ways, and I don't miss most of what was "normal" before. And the things that I do miss, I'd much rather have this life with my little boy than have those things without him.
Speaking of change, being a mom keeps me on my toes. Things have changed not just since before Brennan was born, but things change week to week. Heck, they change day to day! His feeding needs change, his pooping changes, his sleep patterns change. How much "other stuff" (meaning non-baby-related stuff) I get done during the day totally depends on what kind of day Brennan's having. I've learned to be okay with that.
Which is sort of a wonder in itself, knowing me.
I had a half day of subbing last week. I cried as my friend Kristy drove off with my baby. It was only two hours of separation, but boy. I thought about him THE ENTIRE TIME.
Next week - on my birthday, no less - I'm subbing a full day. I have to mention here that I've made myself unavailable for subbing the rest of the school year, but a friend of mine asked if I could cover these days, so I'm doing this as a favor to him. Anyway, I've been trying to prepare myself for the day away from my favorite little guy. I've been pumping a nice store of milk for the day, bought a cooler to put them in, making a mental list of things I need to send along, and so forth. I've also been trying to prepare myself emotionally for the day, but I'm not sure that it'll be any easier for it.
Funny how you get used to being with this other person all day, every day. It's sort of like getting married, but this time, this other person depends on you completely for everything.
I love it.
"If the God you believe in as an idea doesn’t start showing up in what happens to you in your own life, you have as much cause for concern as if the God you don’t believe in as an idea does start showing up. It is absolutely crucial, therefore, to keep in constant touch with what is going on in your own life’s story and to pay close attention to what is going on in the stories of others’ lives. If God is present anywhere, it is in those stories that God is present. If God is not present in those stories, then they are scarcely worth telling." ~ Frederick Buechner