A little over a month ago, I read Anne Fadiman's Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader, which is such a marvelous read. It was one of those books that, as I was reading it, I wished I had written it. She's candid, she's funny, and I loved the fact that she is really nothing like me other than being a lover of words.
In one of the chapters, she talks about reading an older book about being a good housewife. She decides to have her husband rate her housewifeliness on a scale from zero to ten, based on thirteen characteristics. Of course, I got curious about how Nich would rate me, so I copied her list into my journal (at the time, I had the thought that I would do this every few years, just to see how my husband perceived me) and presented it to Nich. I explained what I wanted him to do, and after some initial balking, he agreed to humor me.
I have to state here, for those of you who don't know my husband, that Nich is incredibly honest. I knew that he wouldn't "fluff" his numbers just to spare my feelings. However, he is also extremely kind. In fact, his kindness and generosity - to his friends, to complete strangers - were the two things I noticed most about him when we first became friends. He is also quite reflective, so I walked away, leaving him to take his time, spending the time bracing for the 2s and 3s I was sure I was going to get in categories such as "cheerfulness" and "self-control."
I prayed that I would receive the numbers he gave me with grace and humility.
Y'all, he FLOORED me with his generous numbers. As Little B napped, we talked about each category. He explained why he had given me the numbers he had, complimenting my strengths and gently, sometimes humorously, reminding me of the areas where I need work (some major). I won't go into all the details, but you know how there are those moments when you feel yourself falling in love with your spouse a little bit more?
Well, this was definitely one of them.
Happy Valentine's!
In one of the chapters, she talks about reading an older book about being a good housewife. She decides to have her husband rate her housewifeliness on a scale from zero to ten, based on thirteen characteristics. Of course, I got curious about how Nich would rate me, so I copied her list into my journal (at the time, I had the thought that I would do this every few years, just to see how my husband perceived me) and presented it to Nich. I explained what I wanted him to do, and after some initial balking, he agreed to humor me.
I have to state here, for those of you who don't know my husband, that Nich is incredibly honest. I knew that he wouldn't "fluff" his numbers just to spare my feelings. However, he is also extremely kind. In fact, his kindness and generosity - to his friends, to complete strangers - were the two things I noticed most about him when we first became friends. He is also quite reflective, so I walked away, leaving him to take his time, spending the time bracing for the 2s and 3s I was sure I was going to get in categories such as "cheerfulness" and "self-control."
I prayed that I would receive the numbers he gave me with grace and humility.
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| Sorry for the terrible lighting. Being the daughter of a photographer clearly did nothing for my skills. |
Y'all, he FLOORED me with his generous numbers. As Little B napped, we talked about each category. He explained why he had given me the numbers he had, complimenting my strengths and gently, sometimes humorously, reminding me of the areas where I need work (some major). I won't go into all the details, but you know how there are those moments when you feel yourself falling in love with your spouse a little bit more?
Well, this was definitely one of them.
Happy Valentine's!
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