"If the God you believe in as an idea doesn’t start showing up in what happens to you in your own life, you have as much cause for concern as if the God you don’t believe in as an idea does start showing up. It is absolutely crucial, therefore, to keep in constant touch with what is going on in your own life’s story and to pay close attention to what is going on in the stories of others’ lives. If God is present anywhere, it is in those stories that God is present. If God is not present in those stories, then they are scarcely worth telling." ~ Frederick Buechner

22 February 2013


"Mama Snuggles" by artist Maureen Hargrove
Little B has been under the weather for the past couple days, which has meant that the nights have been rough. We have been up repeatedly throughout the night, soothing, rearranging blankets, cuddling, doing midnight laundry, taking temperatures. I never appreciated a full night's sleep as much as when B first came along, waking up every 2-3 hours wanting me. And now that he has been sleeping 12+ hours a night without interruption, I'm remembering all over again what a blessing a solid night's sleep is.

Last night, the fourth time B woke up calling for us, it was my turn to check on him. He just wanted to be cuddled and rocked, and as I softly sang the many soul-refreshing verses of "Amazing Grace" to him, he buried his head in the crook of my neck as he never does during the daylight hours, his blanket held snugly against him. I breathed in his no-longer-baby smell, still sweet, and just ... dwelled.
When older moms tell me to fully enjoy these little years, I sometimes wonder just how I do that.

But I have precious moments of grace like last night.

Then I read heart-wrenching mama-for-too-short-a-time testimonials like this.

I think I'm beginning to catch quick glimpses what it means to relax even more, to remember that I am more than just "mama," to grow in grace and self-control as a daughter of the King, to let the unimportant things go, to focus on the kingdom work of raising my child, to truly treasure these little years.


  1. I totally agree with everything in this post.

    However, I also know (from experience) that it is possible to become crippled by guilt wondering if I've enjoyed ENOUGH or if I've failed TOO MUCH. That crippling guilt takes away the ability to enjoy and love my children fully.

    So, what I'm saying is this. Life happens. We all make mistakes. I'm never going to be a perfect mother. I will have bad days and good days. I love my babies. I strive to enjoy them fully, challenge them, train them, sometimes have to reprimand them when they are wrong, sometimes have to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes life gets crazy busy and they don't get the attention they deserve. Sometimes they get too much attention. I'm learning that while I can strive to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy; I also have to let go of the intense need to get it all right and fully enjoy. Through my mistakes my kids learn valuable lessons and coping skills that will help them throughout life. And I just have to let go of the failures and look forward to the hope of future successes in mothering. As Thomas has told me over and over again, my mere presence speaks volumes to them. Simply the fact that I am here at home, available to them, will mean the world to them someday and is a hugely positive influence in their lives. Megan

    1. Yes, I think part of the treasuring is to learn how to receive grace ourselves. Thanks for commenting, Megan. I love that we can continue our friendship and share ideas like this thanks to technology!

  2. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think back with a pinch of regret at the way I didn't always treasure my boys toddler years. They are now 22, 19 and 17! But it sounds as if you've grasped what this takes--the letting go of weariness and resting in the beauty God unfolds in a child's sweet embrace. I'm praying that you would feel that, Hannah, more and more with each passing day. Oh, and prayers are being offered for your little "B" too. I hope he feels better very soon. Precious post and so glad you linked it with Wedded Wed!

    1. Dear Beth,

      Although your boys aren't so little anymore, I hope your relationships are still sweet, perhaps slowly developing into a more intimate friendship?

      Thank you for reaching out with your much-needed prayers and encouragement, sweet sister in Christ!